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07946 008 302 jeremy@jeremytomlinson.co.uk

Have you ever been faced with a difficult situation in which you’ve done all you can to avoid a difficult conversation with someone (let’s call him or her “person x”)?

You may find yourself agonising over the pros and cons of the conversation and how the outcome might be adverse or back fire on you. But you also know that the longer you leave it, the greater the pressure of indecision weighs down on you! Not only that, 9 times out of 10, the conversation you finally decide to have is probably the one you would have gone with in the first place if you’d trusted your instinct, and yet you’ve become a nervous wreck in the meantime!

So my advice is – procrastination rarely pays, it adds to stress levels, and you don’t actually achieve much!

Try the following tips as you consider that situation…

– What do you want to be different as a result of the conversation? (be specific)

– What makes it an issue for you right now?

– What do you believe person x is thinking? (remember second-guessing someone else’s thoughts, opinions and beliefs is dangerous – the only person whose thoughts you can accurately read are your own – that person may well surprise you with a completely different view to what you’re expecting)

– What do you think that person x is thinking you’re thinking? (they’ll probably be as wrong at second guessing as you, and may be equally as nervous)

– What is the next positive step you’re going to make? (be specific again, and give it a definite time)

– Recognise that your fear of the situation is not real. Break down that little 4 letter word for what it is – “False Evidence Appearing Real”!!!!

Then take action! Whatever so-called fear you had will melt away.

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